Monday, 11 December 2017
I’m not sure how many times I’ve seen the 1999 movie, “The Matrix” (and you may not care). It has been a good source of words and images for me; which I’ve used to express my personal journey into (greater) freedom. We are an unique and complex creation – well speaking for myself. This is my story; well not the full story just a small section from my journey. Once again, I turn to the Matrix to express the liberty experience this past weekend in Tampa, Fl.
Neo: “I know what you’re trying to do”
Morpheus: “I’m trying to free your mind, Neo. But, I can only show you the door. You’re the one that has to walk through it.”
The weekend event was called, “The 3 Day Flow”, hosted and facilitated by Ekstasis Culture. As an attendee, it seemed the event was based upon the scripture in John chapter 7 – “…from his innermost being shall FLOW…” The believers started arriving Thursday night; I arrived Friday afternoon for the first session at 2pm. Through a series of group sessions, love-driven confrontations, and activities, we learned the impact of cellular programming and living by psychological time. We were presented the choice to live from the ego (head) or from spirit (our new life). So, many things can block your flow and limit you. Will you live in the moment? We were presented with the options: to follow mind or follow spirit.
During the weekend, I was reminded of the verse, “Today, I set before you Life & Death, choose Life…”. I had read that verse and probably taught it a time or two. But somehow, in this environment, the words “were made flesh” and I was “enabled” to face my fears, to confront lies that I didn’t really know were affecting me and everything in my sphere of influence. It seemed that weekend was designed for us not to “just be hearers but to be doers of the word”. I received greater LIGHT on “knowing Him, Being, and then effortlessly doing...”
It was made clear that I, me, my identity, my worth is not determined by:
- Things I have done (I am not my past)
- Things I do (I am not my victories or defeats)
- Things done to me (I am not a victim)
Each of us had our individual set of “masks”. Masks are not mandatory but since the beginning covering and masking has become an ‘earth normal behavior’. I never thought of my “rules of behavior”, “my fitting in skills” as not good. Every once and a while, I did notice that the Lord would lead me to action but I would “check-in” with myself to judge the activity. My set of masks/behaviors were holding me captive. Masks cover; light is meant to shine. You are radiant. This weekend I saw me. I love me. All things are possible for the LOVED.
My ego (old self) had an image that was NOT best. My behavior was driven by a need to be accepted. My actions were calculated and measured against societal norms. I was living according to some pattern that I learned in my early years – dare I say my previous behaviors had me conforming to the ways of the world. The life I lived was designed by my self-programmed definition of masculinity. I perceived myself by the programming I accepted; I engaged with the world based upon a false image of self.
Trinity: “What is he doing?”
Morpheus: “He is beginning to believe.”
Life begins at believing but believing the truth is motivated by LOVE. I think it’s impossible to believe without knowing you are loved. So, know you are loved (and accepted). It was true in the movie, true in the 3 Day flow event, and true for you. In the environment of love and truth, I chose Life. I removed masks. I once believed I had to ‘perform various rituals, behaviors’ to be a man, to be accepted by God, and peers. I did not know how much energy it required to wear those masks and behave as my ego directed – to keep up the façade.
During weekend, I and others identified masks, pulled masks down, experience personal and corporate freedoms. I rejoiced for myself and my new family. Without the masks, you can see yourself and others can see you. It was an amazing feeling to allow someone to look at me and not be concerned with shame or the fear of judgement. I no longer valued external or internal judgements. There is no law more powerful than Love. Love had set me free from having to measure up, to compensate for other’s thoughts (judgements) for or against me. Sunday night, the event ended with a group dinner, a group picture, exchange of contact info, and the few locals leaving for home.
Monday morning the emotional, spiritual, even physical victories seemed like a distant miracle. It was hard to believe the words, the tears, the laughter, the life expressed, … Was it all a dream? I arrived at the airport about two hours before my flight. I checked in my two bags on my Southwest airline return flight to Washington D.C. After dumping my bags, I returned to the curb to say a last “Good Bye” but the group had scattered to their gates or returned to the house. It was early and I was hungry. I had fasted during the weekend so I was ready to get back to “normal”.
The Tampa International Airport Red Terminal was blessed to have a Chik-fil-a restaurant. I engaged in some yummy breakfast goodness. Well to my surprised, I found more than my stomach was satisfied! I was no stranger to airports; over the years with various jobs or ministry, I’ve easily spent thousands of hours in national and international airports. All airports have at least one thing in common other than airplanes – people. Before the event, I would compare myself to every male figure in my field of view. I would find some way that I was better than he – taller, fitter, dressed better, something that would support my self-worth. While scanning, I would do similar with women. Something I would sexualize all their movements, assume any eye contact was an invitation for a sensual encounter, and they all needed something for me and I was expected to deliver. I objectified men, women, boys, girls and myself. But today, was totally different.
I would see a guy and just observe maybe even appreciate. I would see a girl, lady and just look. I thought there was something wrong with me. No lusting, no planning, no fantasizing… You may not understand how different this was for and to me (and you may not care). Normally if I saw a lady looking beautiful, I would begin the game of seduction. I would be believing that she was dressed that way to elicited a response. I would respond in some manner. I thought and believed this was the way a man was expected to behave. I was trying to comply to someone’s rules that I had adopted. But this was a new day, I was not in the “anointed environment” of the 3 Day Flow. I was on my own in the sea of humanity with no one looking. It was odd watching ‘me’ not be ‘me’. I was new. This (new) behavior was shocking. I was walking in a new life. I love being and becoming.
Me: “Kainos Moment Dawning”
Your life, the real you is in a safe secure environment. You will only know you if you can NOT be distracted by ‘stuff’ in your mind and walk in the Light to find yourself in Him (YHSVH). Enjoy the journey to LIFE.